


Borrowed Lost Time

by moondustandink



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Voltron: Legendary Defender Season/Series 07 Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 17:17:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15689871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moondustandink/pseuds/moondustandink
Summary: my take on sunbellas' tumblr post"what if adam is a mechanic and builds shiro a new arm"





	Borrowed Lost Time

**Author's Note:**

> most of this went down before s7 so no cool garrison squad or galra earth invasion but most important, adam is alive

“Morning.” Adam’s still thick with sleep voice snapped Shiro back into reality, followed by the door sliding shut behind him.

The younger man immediately trying his best to repress every memory buried deep in the back of his tarnished mind that came with that single sound alone and all the variations of it he has learned to love, to miss, to lost.

He somehow tricked himself into believe every passing session would only make easier for him to get used to be around the other’s man presence.

What a fool he was.

Even back on earth, the universe seemed to have a peculiar fixation for proving him wrong or just making his life straight down miserable in any possible, sometimes even unpossible, way.

“Morning.” Shiro mumbled under his breath playing anxiously with his fingers over his thigh, forcing himself to tear his gaze away from the brunette as he already felt his heart starting to beat faster inside his ribcage, it was the last thing he needed when Adam was there to literally check his vitals.

Though after the fiasco that was the first day, still leaving him with an unsettling warmth spreading across his cheeks and creeping up his neck at the mere thought of it, nothing could go worse than that. Well, he really hoped so. For the sake of the little dignity he still had left.

“How are you feeling today?” The older man asked still not facing him, turning on the monitor and fiddling with a few instruments Shiro was way too distracted to spare any kind of attention to, not while his Garrison uniform fitted him in all the right places just like back in the old days, but somehow better.

“I’m going to run some tests, okay?”

He nodded numbly.

Shiro knew it was just polite small talk, part of their daily routine by now, but he couldn’t help but wanting more.

“Do what you must.” The younger man sighed lazily, before looking at the security cameras and whisper. “So will I.”

Three taps of his brand new prosthetic fingers against the metal table, the faint sound echoing all over the small room like a clap of thunder, and suddenly the lights were out along with the persistent hum of life of every machine, now replaced by both men’s unsteady breaths.

“What the-what’s going on?” Adam looked around the place, dropping the equipment in his hands by accident in the process, the confused and slightly terrified look on his now bathed by the dimmed yellow emergency light above their heads face almost being enough for the younger man to call everything off.

Almost.

Now or never.

“Adam, listen.” Shiro straightened himself up on the table with little to no difficulty despite the new additional weight surprising himself for a brief moment, trying to push away the feeling of the other man’s name rolling of his tongue, so easy yet so foreign. “Everything is fine.”

The older man slowly turned to him from his place where he has been trying to access his code over and over only to no avail, an eyebrow quirked over the frame of his glasses, frowning but waiting for an explanation.

Which Shiro was more than willing to share. “Pidge.”

It was all it took for Adam to understand the situation. She had hacked over the system, just like she has done so many times in the past while desperately looking for Samuel and Matt all those years ago. Sometimes he wondered if she knew she was the reason why Commander Iverson demanded higher security for the Garrison and if so, how did she felt about it. If she was the same she was before they left and half of what the stories her brother always shared with them said about her, he was quite sure she would go to bed with a proud devious smirk on her face.

Taking off his glasses to run a hand through his fringe as he rested his back against the door, the older man tried to elaborate, gesturing with his hands in the air lazily. "How did she even-"  
"Never underestimate a Holt." Shiro snorted fondly. "Learned that the hard way."

Adam let out a nervous laugh. “You’re gonna get Katie in trouble.”

“She can handle herself,” The younger smiled proudly. “but she’s not alone.”

If everything went according to their plan, which it looked like so far, while Pidge kept smashing the keyboard inside the control room like she did any game night they had so far, Lance and Keith were watching the door and Hunk and Matt were being their charming selves and distracting the rest of the security team and by extension anyone who happened to be near the area, flashing their shiny honorary medals and recreating every battle they went through back in space. Poorly made sound effects included, he was sure.

He could see the exact moment where everything clicked for Adam.

“You got all of them into this, didn’t you?” Shiro shrugged sheepishly, fighting back the grin that threatened to curl his lips up at the memory of the rest of the team agreeing to help him without giving it a second thought, the older man shaking his head slowly.

“Takashi.”

“Adam, please.” Shiro interrupted him, thanking to every god that was listening to him in that moment he was sat down as his name alone coming from the other’s mouth was more than enough to make him weak at the knees.

“What do you gain by doing all this?” It was the brunette's turn to cut him off, frustration coloring his cheeks.

“Talking to you.” The younger stated without hesitation, determination shining bright in the dark gray eyes studying the other man’s every move.

“And the reason why you couldn’t do it like a normal person is-”

“You wouldn’t let me and you know it.” Shiro was aware he was rising his voice by now despite the deafening heartbeat ringing loudly in his ears, the four walls screaming back at him only proving him right, but he didn’t care. “It’s been almost a month since I came back and even if you requested to be the one to monitorize my progress, this is the longest conversation we’ve had since.”

He tried to ignore the knot in his throat menacing to cut his speech short, whether was for the best or not, he was finally getting it out of his chest and he didn’t plan on stopping now. “You’re avoiding me and I don’t blame you but there must be a reason why you chose to do this.”

_Shiro couldn’t believe his own ears when Iverson assigned some random engineer he couldn’t remember the name of for dear life to run the tests of his new arm, the blissed look on the poor boy’s face as he stumbled over his own feet to shake Shiro’s hand saying how much of an honor it was to meet him immediately shattering when Adam stepped forward._

_“I’d like to ask for your permission to be in charge of running the tests, Sir.”_

_Iverson’s eyebrows shooting right up his non existent hairline at his request. “Are you sure, Commander?”_

_Samuel Holt trying his best to keep a straight face as he shared a silent knowing look between the pair, very unlike Matt, who was currently busy violently choking on his saliva behind his father’s back._

_Shiro wanted to murder him, but at the same time, he couldn’t really blame him either._

_Realizing didn’t knew how much anyone at the Garrison currently in the same room as him knew about his love life or lack of suddenly making him feel a bit fidgety, internally cursing the new additional weight as he couldn’t seem to find his balance as he shifted his weight from one foot to another, waiting for his verdict._

_Adam only sparing him a brief glance before answering._

_“Yes.”_

“If you give me time, let me explain and then if you decide you don’t want to hear from me ever again I’ll understand.” Shiro begged searching for his eyes in the dark room. “Just please, listen.”

Adam looked between what he supposed now were the turned off cameras and Shiro tapping his fingers against the surface right next to his thigh in a particularly specific rhythm, an habit he had learned their first session together when he worried the younger were doing it out of anxiety and he was only triggering any further, as if mimicking a clock ticking down the time they had together without even realizing.

Undoing the first two buttons of his Garrison uniform, since apparently cutting out the air conditioner was a part of the plan none of them thought through, the brunette pulled his chair closer, fighting back the smirk creeping up his lips when the younger’s man eyes followed the movement closely as he sat down.

“You’re gonna need someone to get your new children out of trouble anyway.”

The ghost of the smile on the younger’s face at the knowledge of Adam wanting kids disappearing when Shiro realized why it didn’t happen.

Sighing heavily as no word came out of the other’s mouth, the older looked down at his hands hanging lazily over his lap, fiddling anxiously with the finger that he had always pictured someday wrapped up in gold.

“I’m so sorry.” The younger whispered, snapping the brunette’s attention back up just in time to catch the silent tear streaming down his face, an electric shiver running down Adam’s spine at how suddenly small Shiro looked, memories from their first fights from what felt like a lifetime ago hitting him like a whiplash.

“For what I did and said and for what I didn’t did and didn’t said.”

“I’m just so sorry for everything.” Shiro was beginning to sob at this point, reminding him when he used to have anxiety attacks in the past.

The vivid image of a freshman pilot terrified of not knowing if he was going to make it to next day sneaking in between his sheets at unholy hours of the night coming to life before the brunette’s now glassy eyes.

The older man realizing nothing could have ever prepare him for the bittersweet mix of feelings that this conversation would bring, the mere sight of guilt squeezing Shiro’s eyes shut not letting him process the words he dreamed of hearing for years finally coming from what once were his lover’s lips.

“I put myself above us, so many times.” He continued, voice strained and small. “It wasn’t fair.”

“But even when I didn’t deserve it you were always there.” Shiro met his gaze for the first time ever since he started to rant, piercing right through his soul.

That did it for him.

“Because I wanted to, Takashi.” Adam stood up from his chair, carelessly pushing to the side every equipment in his way and walking towards Shiro, stopping when his body was almost among the space between his slightly parted thighs, his fingers aching to intertwine with the other man’s just like he used to when Shiro got like this, knowing they fit exactly like puzzle pieces.

A voice screaming in the back of the older’s head to try if his new hand suited as well or was it time to move on.

“But that’s the thing, Adam.” Shiro looked up at him desperately through the new height difference him leaving his spot at the chair created, fisting the fabric of his uniform between his fingers now that he was able to reach. “All you ever wanted was us.” The younger’s voice breaking at the last word, just like the other man’s heart.

“And I was too blinded by my own ego to see that.” He looked down in shame, leaning forwards till his head collided against the brunette’s chest with a soft thud, his shoulders shaking as he silently cried. “I was selfish.”

“You wanted to follow your dream.” Adam sighed heavily, running his fingers through what someday was a mop of pitch black hair, now replaced by silver strands. It suited him, he thought, even if he still didn’t understood how it happened but now wasn’t the time. “And I respected that, but I couldn't keep watching you tearing yourself apart when you already had so little left.” The hand on his hair now cradling his tear strained jaw, fingertips stroking tenderly above his neck as if to make sure he was alive. The feeling of his heartbeat alone being enough to set his skin on fire. “I couldn't put myself through that pain over and over again.”

The older man breathing in shakily before carrying on.

“I loved you too much to do it.”

Something tugging at Shiro’s heart at the word ‘loved’.

“I met people who have lost everything they ever loved.” Shiro’s voice broke through the silence, muffled by the fabric of the older’s clothes and echoing weakly all over the room.

Shiro thought then about all the people who he had crossed paths with up in space, before and after Voltron. Scattered memories of galra prisoners wailing about never going to see their families again and craving the sweet release of death loud enough to be heard from his cell still keeping him awake at night blending with the desperate cries for help from every stress signal they achieved to get to before it was too late but still lost something on the way.

Flashes of Allura, Coran and Romelle running wild through his head and pulling his lips up into a lazy smile, each one of them never failing to express how much they missed Altea and their beloved people in their special individual way but eventually finding home within the other without even realizing.

Sometimes even Krolia, who was still yet to learn how to let her walls down around her own son, he now comprehend where did Keith got it from tho.

“Then I understood,” He slowly raised his head and dared himself to watch the man he has loved for years and let go, cupping his face so he was sure he was looking at him straight in the eye. “and blamed myself every day we were apart for ever making you feel that way.”

Adam couldn’t help but melt into the touch, closing his eyes as his first tear rolled down his cheek.

“I was there.”

“What?” Shiro frowned in confusion.

“The night you crashed here before going into space,” The older snorted teary eyed, averting his gaze to roll his eyes lovingly. “again.”

It took Shiro more than a second for his words to sink in, too busy staring at that face he have missed for so long in all his closed up glory, his eyes desperately craving every detail in the back of his head, like afraid if he let go everything will fade away once again.

“I remember having to make sure everyone was back in their dorms and let them know the situation was under control.” He said with a tinge of not so subtle annoyance lacing his voice, making the younger man hide what would be an inappropriate fit of laughter into the crook of his neck, the intoxicating smell of his cologne invading his senses and making his head spin.

Kids were a thing, yes, but teens were a whole completely different world. They both learned that the hard way.

_Sirens blaring loudly disturbed his sleep as Adam rolled to the now empty side of his bed, immediately reaching for his glasses and his phone from his bedside table to have an inside of the madness that was apparently going on outside, already finding the device blowing up angrily with code red emergency texts and missed calls. All of them from Commander Iverson._

_This was bad._

_Scrolling up all the way to the begin of the conversation, his heart abruptly stopped as his still dulled with sleep eyes fell on the words displayed on the little too bright screen._

**_Commander. Shirogane. Landed._ **

_Grabbing a hold of his gray Garrison uniform jacket he wore earlier that day draped over his desk chair as fast as his still shaking fingers allowed him, Adam pushed his sheets to the side and got up from bed, throwing his now slick with cold sweat shirt over his head and pulling a fresh pair of pants up, clumsily stomping on his heavy combat boots to make them fit and he was already on his way to the door, the golden locket hanging from his neck rhythmically tapping the goosebump kissed exposed skin of his chest where he haven’t buttoned up properly, matching the erratic beat of his heart._

“I drove as fast as I could to where they were holding you down, yelling at them to not put you down but there was no response.” That must be when Keith knocked all of them up before bumping into Lance, Hunk and Pidge and taking im to the shack, Shiro thought to himself. He remember glimpses of it.

“I had to see it with my own eyes, see that you weren’t dead and I wasn’t going out of my mind,” Adam laughed bitterly as he shook his head slowly, thin lips trembling like the tears pooling at the corner of his eyes. “but there was nothing when i made it there.”

The younger’s man gaze fixed on his feet idly dangling from the table, for once not knowing what to say.

“I cried myself to sleep that night after so long,” The hurt in Adam’s voice constricted the younger man’s hard, as if he we keeping it hostage inside the white knuckled fist pressed against his thigh. “I think for the first time since they reported the pilot error from the Kerberos mission.” Shiro knew he meant no harm with that sentence alone, but the realization of not having being there for him when those news dropped immediately making blame to stir low in his stomach.

He started to wonder if opening himself and sharing with Adam what actually happened when he was away was worth the pain. The mere thought of harming him again only harming him even further.

“I couldn’t believe you slipped right through my fingers for the second time.” He grazed Shiro’s brand new metal ones for the very first as if to put emphasis, the touch distant and artificial, but there, he could feel it. “I was so close to have you back.”

Shiro smiled unconsciously, they were indeed so close.

“That was when I realized,” The older leaned closer than before now, gently tilting his chin up with one hand and finally intertwining their fingers with the other, noses barely inches apart as he pressed a lazy smile against his lips, whispering. “I wasn’t over you.”

**Author's Note:**

> half of this was written before i watched s7 and half of this was written after so i apologize if you can tell the difference because its a fucking mess but in my defense s7 caused me depression


End file.
